It’s not easy for anyone, let alone a foreigner, to cause a sensation at Seville’s Feria de Abril (April Fair). The whole event is already wildly over the top, with half a million women dressed in gaudy, ruffled gowns, beribboned horses and carriages weaving through the crowd, and everyone dancing day and night all week. They say the average Sevillano gets two hours of sleep a night, and I’m surprised it’s that much.
Feria perfectly embodies a favorite expression of some bad-influence friends of my youth: “If you’re going to do something, you might as well go too far.”
And then one year my American friend Lynnette showed up at Feria in an outfit that had Sevillanos pouring out of their tents, roaring with laughter, and begging to have their picture taken with her. A howling sartorial success. I felt lucky to be there when it happened.
As is so often the case in Europe, it all came down to fútbol — or as we Americans like to call it, soccer.
This city has two teams. Sevilla Fúbol Club was launched in 1890 by aristocrats who made it clear that lesser mortals need not apply. In 1907 the city’s scrappy underdogs formed their own team called Betis, from the old Roman name for the Guadalquivir River that runs through town. The word Real (Royal) was added to the Betis name seven years later when they won the patronage of King Alfonso XIII. Take that, Sevilla FC snobs! Both play in the top-level La Liga, and the years have done nothing to dim the intensity of the rivalry.
One of the first things you learn here is that Sevilla FC wears red stripes, Real Betis wears green ones, and there are plenty of bars in town that you’d be extremely unwise to set foot in wearing the wrong colors. Trust me on this.
So when Lynnette strolled through the Feria de Abril in 2007, eight-and-three-quarters months pregnant, wearing a traditional Feria dress in bold green Real Betis stripes, wrapped in a shawl with the team’s logo, Betis supporters cheered and raced over to take selfies with her. For me, it was like walking into a party as Marylin Monroe’s wingwoman.
Heady stuff. Lynnette had come a long, long way from the life that was expected of her in the conservative small Missouri town she once called home.
Like so many expats, she didn’t move here as part of carefully constructed strategy. “It was all a whim, with zero plan,” she recalled, laughing, when we were reminiscing recently about our early days in Seville. She’d lived in various parts of the US — Oklahoma, Texas, New York, and finally Las Vegas — but she felt her life wasn’t moving in the right direction. Or really any direction.
Then she went to Spain on a ten-day vacation, not expecting much beyond a little good weather and affordable wine. “I’ve got to be honest, I was clueless. When I came to Spain, I just fell in love with the country. It knocked my socks off. The Mediterranean, the mountains … it was just so beautiful to me.”
Lynnette moved to Seville in 2002 and survived by teaching English and sewing Feria dresses (or
trajes de flamenco
, as they’re properly called). Eventually she met and married a Spaniard named Fran, and they had a son, Andrew.
And that’s when things started unraveling for Lynnette.
“I had considered myself bi when I moved here,” she said. “I felt it was equally possible that I might have fallen for a man or a woman. I loved Fran dearly. But after I had Andrew, there was something like a biological shift in my body; in the course of the next few years, it just became more and more clear to me that I was just not interested in [marriage to a man] anymore. I was raised in a very traditional home; even though I consider myself a liberal feminist woman, there was expectation in my head that I needed to be a good wife and a good mother. Your kid needs two parents.”
She stuck it out until Fran finally said to her, “This isn’t working.” And they agreed to call it quits.
“I was devastated,” she told me. “It took me about a year to say, ‘I am a lesbian.’”
“How did your friends and neighbors react? Was there any pushback?”
“Oh, God, no. Never.” She considered a moment. “Here there’s a close family bond, and I feel like it’s reflected in the acceptance of people who are different. You’ve got so many different kinds of people in your family and you accept them. People who are queer or have disabilities are really welcomed into every part of society. People are more empathetic.”
I’ve often observed this during Sunday lunch, when many generations of a Sevillano family will gather at long tables in neighborhood bistros. Everyone is expected to converse with everyone else. Yep, even the doddering
ancianos
, the kids with Down Syndrome, the awkward teens, the grumpy dads, the distracted moms, the shy cousins, and the tiniest babies.
And this, I believe, is one of the truly remarkable things about Spain. The word
nosotros
(us) means everybody, the whole mad mix of humanity that makes up the nation. That’s the basis of a socialist society — and theoretically of our democracy as well. “We the people…” is supposed to include all of us. Not just the ones we agree with about sex, religion, and politics. Not only those who look like us and live in a “nice” house. Not exclusively folks who are free from illness, strife, or bad luck. Everybody.
Of course, human nature is human nature; get a few Sevilla FC and Real Betis supporters in a room and you’ll see sparks fly. But you’ll also see Sevilla FC fans grinning along with everyone else at Lynnette’s famous Betis dress, which she wore to Feria again when the team won the 2022 Copa del Rey. Only this time with the waist taken in and her hair in
an asymmetrical bob, shaved on one side
. And people still cheered and rushed to take selfies with her.
An influencer shot this TikTok video of her, and it went viral.
Open-heartedness begins at home and spreads out into the world. “Knowing that your parents, your grandparents, your family supports and loves you no matter what — I think that that really does make a difference in how people behave in general,” says Lynnette.
Mother Teresa agreed. “What can you do to promote world peace?” she asked. “Go home and love your family.” Amen to that.
THE
AMIGOS
PROJECT
This post is part of my ongoing exploration of how living and traveling abroad can enrich our lives and help us find fellowship, avoiding the isolation that’s become a global epidemic.
See all my Amigos Project posts here.
DON’T MISS OUT!
If you haven’t already, take a moment to subscribe so I can let you know when I publish my weekly posts.
Just send me an email and I’ll take it from there.
[email protected]
SUBSCRIBED BUT NOT GETTING POSTS?
Check your spam folder
. Internet security is in a frenzy these days. If you still can’t find it, please let me know.
WANT MORE?
My best selling travel memoirs & guide books
Best of Cheap & Cheerful San Francisco
Cozy Places to Eat in Seville
GOING SOMEWHERE?
Enter any destination or topic, such as packing light or road food, in
the search box
below
. If I’ve written about it, you’ll find it.
Leave a Reply